---

DID YOU KNOW? And now that you do, will it make a differance;

That America is a freedom of religion country and that in the early stages of building our country George Washington stated that "this is NOT a Christian nation, it is a freedom of religion nation"

If people would realise this we could have less bigotry and fewer people trying to push their beliefs as the only valid form of worship.

The founding fathers of America were all Masons. Washington DC is full of astrological symbols carved and implanted in most all of it's buildings. The very lay-out of the city is Masonic symbology.

As for the 10 Commandments posted on buildings and the carving of Moses, those are of Jewish origin, not Christian. Higher degree Masons are Kabbalists, that's where it comes from.

I suggest a very good book on the subject called:
The Secret Architecture of Our Nation's Capital: The Masons and the Building of Washington, D.C. by David Ovason

"Know America, know freedom.
No America, no freedom."

Contributor, people I know in OR

---

Humor
Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other,
"I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans
do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor
and they both walk towards the cart.

"Two dogs, please," says one.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in
foil and hands them over the counter.

Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
The mother superior is first to open hers.

She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment,
leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously:
"What part did you get?"

---

Humor

For a peck a the latest auto add-on:
http://www.suburbanautogroup.com/videoView.html

---

Humor

They say, whoever THAT is, "That the smartest people ask the most questions..."

Afew simple question;

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Why doesn't toothpaste ever go rotten?

Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

How come when you first pull the drapery cord the drapes always move
the wrong way?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner reach down pick it up examine it then put it down to
give their vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?

Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use
them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?

Considering all the lint you get in your dryer if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say 'Its all right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot'?

What is the point of brick wallpaper?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed? (* I especially liked this one. *)

Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?

Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?

Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?

How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

If an optimist fell from a ten story building would he yell out to his friends 'All right so far' as he passed each floor?

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you
bounce.

---

Some abuse of you you should know of if you use a cell phone. lick. Look for Monday, Jan.5, 04 title is "Cell phone user now being abused..."

---

JUST A THOUGHT
D, Advising at keen

OK, put this # everywhere you think you should, on or by all phones, inside cabinet under kitchen sink, in the bathroom cabinet under the sinks there. Put it in your cell phones too. Remmber, when you need it, you'll be in a panic and remmbering "the one place You put it years ago" might be one or any one of the above. Save a life....

This # from the American Academy of Pediatrics, http://www.aap.org/. In a new policy statement, the AAP recommends that syrup of ipecac no longer be used routinely as a home treatment strategy, http://www.aap.org/advocacy/releases/novpoison.htm

Control your life, don't LET life control you,

---

A Short Thought or feeling...
"The Danger of the SOUNDBITE" and the 30 min. news show"

Did you know that 52 of the 55 signers of the
Declaration of Independence were orthodox, deeply
committed Christians? The other three all believed in the
Bible as the divine truth, the God of scripture,
and His personal intervention.

It is the same Congress that formed the American
Bible Society. Immediately after creating the
Declaration of Independence, the Continental Congress
voted to purchase and import 20,000 copies of scripture
for the people of this nation.

Patrick Henry, who is called the firebrand of the
American Revolution, is still remembered for his
words, '"Give me liberty or give me death."' &! nbsp;
But in current textbooks the context of these words
is deleted. Here is what he actually said: '"An
appeal to arms and the God of hosts is all that is
left us. But we shall not fight our battle alone.
There is a just God that presides over the destinies
of nations. The battle, sir, is not to the strong
alone. Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be
purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid
it almighty God. I know not what course others may
take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me
death."'

These sentences have been erased from our
textbooks. Was Patrick Henry a Christian? The following
year, 1776, he wrote this: '"It cannot be emphasized
too strongly or too often that this great Nation was
founded not by religionists, but by Christians; not
on religions, but on the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
For that reason alone, people of other faiths have
been afforded freedom of worship here."'

Consider these words that Thomas Jefferson wrote on
the front of his well-worn Bible: '"I am a real
Christian, that is to say, a disciple of the doctrines
of Jesus. I have little doubt that our whole
country will soon be rallied to the unity of our Creator.
"' He was also the chairman of the American Bible
Society, which he considered his highest and most
important role.

On July 4, 1821, President Adams said, '"The
highest glory of the American Revolution was this: it
connected in one indissoluble bond the principles of
civil government with the principles of
Christianity."'

Calvin Coolidge, our 30th President of the United
States reaffirmed this truth when he wrote, '"The
foundations of our society and our government rest
so much on the teachings of the Bible that it would
be difficult to support them if faith in these
teachings would cease to be practically universal in
our country."'

In 1782, the United States Congress voted this
resolution: '"The Congress of the United States !
recommends and approves the Holy Bible for use in all
schools."'

William Holmes McGuffey is the author of the
McGuffey Reader, which was used for over 100 years in our
public schools with over 125 million copies sold
until it was stopped in 1963.
President Lincoln called him the '"Schoolmaster of
the Nation."' Listen to these words of Mr.
McGuffey: '"The Christian religion is the religion of our
country. From it are derived our notions on the
character of God, on the great moral Governor of the
universe. On its doctrines are founded the
peculiarities of our free institutions. From no source
has the author drawn more conspicuously than from the
sacred Scriptures. From all these extracts from the
Bible I make no apology."'

Of the first 108 universities founded in America,
106 were distinctly Christian, including the first,
Harvard University, chartered in 1636. In the
original Harvard Student Handbook, rule number 1 was
that: Students seeking entrance must know Latin and
Greek so that they could study the scriptures: '"Let
every student be plainly instructed and earnestly
pressed to consider well, the main end of his life
and studies is, to know God and Jesus Christ, which
is eternal life, John 17:3; and therefore to lay
Jesus Christ as the only foundation for our children
to follow the moral principles of the Ten
Commandments.'"

James Madison, the primary author of the
Constitution of the United States, said this: '"We have
staked the whole future of our new nation not upon the
power of government; far from it. We have staked the
future of all our political constitutions upon the
capacity of each of ourselves to govern ourselves
according to the moral principles of the Ten
Commandments."'

Today, we are asking God to bless America. But, how
can He bless a Nation that has departed so far from
Him? Prior to September 11, He was not welcome in
America. Most of what you read in this article! has
been erased from our textbooks. Revisionists have
rewritten history to remove the truth about our
country's Christian roots.

You are encouraged to share with others, so that
the truth of our nation's history will be told.

---

ON BEING A COWBOY
So what's wrong with being a cowboy? by Susie
Freeman, Reporter
Columnist
One of the accusations aimed at President Bush by
his detractors is to
call him a "cowboy," as if this is some mark of
shame, implying
something sinister or simple-minded. I keep
wondering why. Have you
ever watched a rodeo?
They've started interviewing the contestants after
they compete, giving
the audience a little glimpse into the character of
these athletes,
something like the ones conducted preceding title
fights and following
basketball and football games.
They go something like this;
"Cody, you made a spectacular ride, which moves you
into first place.
How do you feel about your position as the number
one bull-rider in the
country?"
"Well, ma'am, (notice the use of a term of respect,
a vanishing social
custom among most Americans under the age of 30),
I've been real lucky.
I've drawn some good bulls and everything has
fallen into place for me
this year. Some of my competitors have had some
injuries and bad luck.
I just hope I can stay healthy."
Before his closest competitor comes out of the
chute, this cowboy then
climbs up on the fence and helps him tie on his
rigging. He gives that
same guy a high five at the side of the arena when
he's beaten by two
points on the ride he helped him prepare for.
How many times have you seen an arena full of rodeo
fans take to the
streets following a competition and set fire to
cars or hold an
impromptu riot because they felt dissatisfied with
the final outcome, as
Michigan State students recently did?
There is no booing of officials when scores are
announced. I've never
heard of a contested call by any competitor, even
when it meant the
difference between winning and losing.... Cowboys
don't whine.
Cowboys regularly loan each other equipment and
even horses, frequently
valued at $50,000 to $100,000 per animals, when a
fellow competitor's
ride didn't arrive in time for tonight's roping or
bulldogging or
whatever.
When 'The Star Spangled Banner' is played, to a man
and woman they rise
to their feet and put their hats over their hearts
in respect.
They don't wear T-shirts bearing offensive sexual
messages.
When a cowboy (or cowgirl) is injured, the rest
hold fund-raisers and
donate time and money to help him or her and their
families through a
rough financial time.
A lifetime achievement is the day when a contestant
reaches $1 million
in earnings. To reach that goal, he or she has
spent about 15 years
practicing and suffering dozens of injuries,
traveled hundreds of
thousands of miles from rodeo to rodeo, frequently
with their toughest
competition, who also happens to be their best
friend.
Headlines never seem to carry news of a
world-champion bull rider or
calf roper beating up his wife or being arrested
for molesting under-age
girls.
And they, too, have their groupies and some even
have failed marriages,
sad victims of the vagabond lifestyle necessary to
follow the rodeo
circuit.
They seem to know who their fathers are and most
often seem to be
married to the mothers of their children. They
thank their families for
their successes.
So, I have to ask: What's wrong with being
described as a "cowboy?"
It seems to me to be high praise in a world full of
folks with
questionable moral standards, technicolor hair,
bodies adorned with
rings and tattoos in startling locations and no
respect for anything of
value or worth.
It seems our "cowboy" president is in some pretty
good company. Better than he should get credit for.
Sure beats being a Frenchman thou. But then again I've know, though history, that that's just the way the French are.
Ride 'em.

---

Color pics now coming in from Spirit on Mars. lick to Mars rover mission website.

D, Advising at keen

---

Humor


New Calif. Drivers Application...

For those of you that don't live in California, I've
POSTED the form so if you visit you'll know what to
expect.

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to
live in California, here is a copy of the California
Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study real
hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions
(and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may
not have realized that the California Department of
Motor Vehicles has now issued a special application
and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles
Metropolitan Area.



2003 STATE OF CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION


Name:___________________ Stage Name: __________________

Agent:___________________ Attorney:____________________

Therapist name:_________________

Sex: ___Male ___Female ___Formerly Male ___Formerly
Female ____Both

*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______ Will
the size of your implants hinder your ability to
safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No___



Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't:
________________________________________________ use
extra pages, if necessary.


Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ]
Blue [ ] Skinhead

Please check activities you perform while driving:
(Check all that apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[X] Talking on the phone (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Lifting weights
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[ ] Snorting cocaine
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / Reloading


Please indicate how many times you expect to:
a) Shoot at other drivers _____
b) Be shot at while driving _____

If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
a) Call the police to report the crime.
b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch
your car on the news in a high-speed chase.
c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against
cellular phone company for 911 call not going through.
d) Call your therapist.

In the event of an earthquake, you should :
a) Stop your car.
b) Keep driving and hope for the best.
c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.

In the instance of rain, you should:
a) Never drive over 5 MPH.
b) Drive twice as fast as usual.
c) You're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate your current number of therapy
sessions per week: ______.

Are you presently taking any of the following
medications?
a) Prozac
b) Zovirax
c) Lithium
d) Zanax
e) Valium
f) Zoloft
g) All of the above
h) None of the above
*If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:
a) Less than 1 hour
b) 1 hour
c) 2 hours
d) 3 hours
e) 4 hours or more
If less than 1 hour, please
explain:____________________.

When stopped by police, you should:
a) Pull over and have your driver's license and
insurance form ready.
b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the
405 Freeway.
c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to
attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit.


When turning, you should always signal your intentions by:
a) Using your directional signals.
b) What is a "directional signal"?

Which part of your car will wear out most often?
a) The wiper blades
b) The belts
c) The horn

Automatic door locks are good for:
a) Security
b) Convenience
c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in

The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
a) Dark, poorly lit roads
b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
c) Revenge!

---

News On the Mars rover "Spirit":
NASA's Spirit rover has sent its first images from Mars, showing a landscape scattered with small rocks that brought cheers from scientists.

D, Advising at keen

Ok, back home again. Nice too. Now to get moved back in and do things like laundry and go shopping for food and get the smail-mail in house and done.

And I found a note from the midwest when I got home, thought I should share it...


Because of misunderstandings that frequently
develop when Easterners and
Californians cross "God's Country" such as
Illinois, Michigan, Indiana,
Ohio, Wisconsin, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Missouri,
Minnesota, North Dakota,
and South Dakota, those states' Tourism Councils
have adopted a set of
information guidelines.

In an effort to help outsiders understand the
Midwest, the following list
will be handed to each driver entering the state:

1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did
more work before
breakfast than you do all week at the
gym.

2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow
you drive, you're going
to get dust on your Navigator. I
have a four wheel drive because I need it.
Drive it or get it out of
the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were
seven years old. Yeah,
we shot Bambi We got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about
our women will get you
whipped ... by our women.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod.
Don't cry to us if a
flathead catfish breaks it off at the
handle. We have a name for those little trout
you fish for...bait.

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
mallards are making their final
approach, we will shoot it! You
might hope you don't have it up to your ear at
the time.

8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can
buy a fifth for what you
paid in the airport for one drink.

9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu.
Order steak, rare or
medium or, you can order the
Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of
ham, bacon, and turkey.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be
brown, wet, and served over
ice.

11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you
drive on weekends. We're
real impressed. We have quarter
of a million dollar Combines that we use two
weeks a year.

12. Let's get this straight. We have one or two
stoplights in town. We stop
when they're red. We may even
stop when they're yellow.

13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks
--because they want to. So,
you're a feminist, isn't that cute.

14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too--and turtle.
You really want sushi and
caviar? It's available at the bait
shop.

15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get
over it. Don't like it?
Intestates 70, 80 & 90 go two
ways--Intestates 29, 35, 55, 57 and 69 go the
other two. Pick one and
use it accordingly.

16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer
season. It's a religious
holiday. You can get breakfast at the
church. (Also refers to first day of Walleye
fishing in Minnesota)

17. So every person in every pickup waves, it's
called being friendly,
understand the concept?

18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the
water hazard. It spooks
the fish.

19. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled
you over for driving like
an idiot...his name is "Sir" ... no
matter how old he is.

Now that you understand our culture, enjoy your
visit.

Some Newspaper Humor

---

THE BEST OF 2003's, ACTUAL HEADLINES:

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Hi,
Still on that vacation, back to normal next Monday thou. Or at lease home, have all that snall-mail to go though. Hope your had a Happy New Years Eve.
D, Advising at keen

HUMOR
>> Happy New Year Everyone.
**********************************************************************

> > Three girls all worked in the same office with
the
> > same female boss.
> > > Each day, they noticed the boss left work
early. One
> > day the girls decided that, when the boss left,
they
> > would leave right behind her. After all, she
never
> > called or came back to work, so how would she
know
> > they went home early?
> > > The brunette was thrilled to be home early.
She did
> > a little gardening, spent playtime with her
son, and
> > went to bed early.
> > > The redhead was elated to be able to get in a
quick
> > workout at the spa before meeting a dinner
date.
> > > The blonde was happy to get home early and
surprise
> > her husband, but when she got to her bedroom,
she
> > heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and
> > quietly, she cracked open the door and was
mortified
> > to see her husband in bed with her lady boss! >
> Gently, she closed the
>door and crept out of her
> > house.
> > > The next day, at their coffee break, the
brunette
> > and redhead planned to leave early again, and
they
> > asked the blonde if she was going to go with
them.
> > > "No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got
caught
> > yesterday."

TIME MARCHES ON

---

Do you know what happened back in Dec. of 1850?
California became a state.

Back then, the state had no electricity.
There was no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gun fights in the middle of the streets.

It was pretty much just like California is today.

Humor


A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an
examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen abdomen. It only
took the doctor about 2 seconds to say "Your daughter is pregnant." The
mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her daughter
was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by having sex with
a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The
mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you
paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's
just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the East, and
three wise men came. I'm not going to miss it this time.

Humor

Two guys are moving about in a Walmart when their carts collide.

One says to the other, "Excuse me, but I'm looking for my wife."

"What a coincidence, so am I, and I'm getting a little desperate."

"Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?"

"She's tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm boobs, and a tight ass.

What's your wife look like?"

"Never mind, let's look for yours

Humor
There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods
searching for a Christmas tree.

After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with
hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. And I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

*** Humor
One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were
sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Huan
Cho said "Hey baby, let's play Weeweechu."

"Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon" said Jung Lee.

"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it's the
perfect time," Huan Cho Begged.

"But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon."

"Please Jung Lee, just once play Weeweechu with me."

Jung Lee looked at Huan Cho and said, "OK, we'll play Weeweechu."

Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....
"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."
******************************END

Taking a Chrismas Vaction till Monday Jan. 5, will do my best to kept up but can't say if computers will be there for me. Check in and like I said, I'll do my best". See how much of a type A I can be.
D, Advising at Keen, but not till 1-05-04, TY

***Golf Humor
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend,who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."

A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"

The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless, but also that perhaps this is a good omen, so he says, "Okay," and sinks the putt.

Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole."

The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?"

The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." He makes an eagle.

On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win.

Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?"

The golfer says, "Certainly!" He makes the eagle.

As the golfer walks to the club house, the stranger walks alongside and says, "You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the
Devil, and from now on you will have no sex life."

"Nice to meet you," says the golfer. "I'm Father O'Malley."
**************************************END